2024 UnRich List Has New No.1

The  NNBR UnRich List for 2024 is out, and in top place is a woman who may one day wipe your arse in the hospital wing of a retirement home.

The UnRich List is compiled annually by the National Non-Business Review, and the release of its rankings are keenly awaited and the subject of much speculation by pretty much no-one of any standing or influence.  

‘It’s just something we’ve done every year to fill some column inches,’ said a spokesperson for the NNBR.

‘The UnRich List isn’t very exciting really, just a bunch of non-household names who will never amount to anything financially because hey, some things that people do make a lot less money than other things that people do, and that’s just the way it is, it’s not like we’re communists or anything, that’s the way the world works so don’t come at us.’

Anna, the woman at the Number 1 spot on the UnRich List, who has a full name but let’s face it you’d forget it by tomorrow, is in her mid-thirties and works fulltime in the day-to-day care of vulnerable elderly people.

As the NNBR notes, it’s the kind of dubious career choice that is never going to get her anywhere near the housing ladder let alone leveraging some rentals, developing a balanced share portfolio or deciding whether or not to put in a helicopter pad.