A Reading From The Book Of David Of Seymour

In this time there lived a man called David of Seymour, or sometimes David of the Eight Percent. And sat he at the right hand of the Executive Leader, and was the Tail who wagged the Dog. And Freedom was his middle name, although his middle name was also ‘Of’.

Now this was a time of trouble across the land, and much vexed were the people.

But when the people cried out ‘Who will slay the Goliath that is our supermarket duopoly?’  David of Seymour said ‘Not me. If anything, they’re over-regulated and need more freedom’.

And when the people asked ‘Who will keep us safe from weapons of carnage?’ David of Seymour said ‘Again, pretty big on the freedom thing. Have you met Nicole McKee? She might be able to interest you in an assault rifle’.

And so it was that David of Seymour spake many things about many things, as if he was pulling each of them out of his ass (or donkey). And lo, even as the people would pour scorn upon his words, he would wear their scorn like a badge of honour, saying unto them ‘I am entitled to say what I think, for this is freedom of speech manifest’.

And the scribes took down his many words because they were good copy, and verily many scrolls were sold.

One day it came to pass that David of Seymour was to shepherd a new Bill through the House.