Another Urgent Clarification From The Office Of Hon. David Seymour

Hon. D Seymour demonstrating ACT’s stripped-down approach to public spending

Hello, David Seymour here – the scourge of the left and the lazy. Think of someone with all the charismatic zeal and magnetic dynamism of Che Guevara, except fiscally responsible and sticking up for property instead of people. Viva la Corporation!

As you know, here in the ACT party we are all about rooting out wasteful spending of taxpayer money. If there’s one thing that gets me up in the morning it’s the thought of all that rooting out.

Politicians throwing your money at problems. Politicians firehosing cash up the wall with all the reckless abandon of a drunk public servant on a Friday night who’s seven Heinekens down and just found his way to the urinal. Root them out, I say!

That’s why, you’ll remember, I founded the Ministry for Regulation, a whole new government department where keen-eyed six-figure salary-earners hunt and destroy government waste.

And that’s also why when Nicola Willis proposed a Policy Costings Unit - a Policy Costings Unit that would independently calculate just how much each party’s election promises would, you know, cost – and an idea that was supported by National, Labour and *stifles gag reflex* the Greens –

…that’s when the ACT party’s response was a clear and hearty ‘Screw that for a joke.’

You heard me. Bugger that for a laugh.

And why, I hear you ask?