Behind The Regulatory Standardzzzzz Bill
Something possibly as boring as the title of the Regulatory Standards Bill
The Regulatory Standards Bill continues to lumber towards being passed into law like a great big lumbering thing.
But with a name like Regulatory Standards, you’d be forgiven for thinking that… whoa, keep awake! Stay with us here!
The point is that although the Regulatory Standards Bill sounds like something a low-level bureaucrat drafted in their spare time because Sudoku was just too over-stimulating, in fact it takes power out of the hands of our elected representatives and gives it to…
No, look back here, not out the window! Hey! Hello?
That’s better. Look, the Regulatory Standard bill sounds as beige as one of Ken Barlow’s cardigans. Deliberately. And thanks to a special Satiriser investigation we can report that the name was chosen over a whole list of other names also designed specifically to be as stodgily uninteresting as possible
Many focus groups suffered in abject tedium to bring you the final version of the title of this bill. Here are the finalists that did not make it:
The Move Along There’s Nothing To See Here Bill
The You Think The Title’s Boring, I Promise This Is Just Like One Of Those Worthy Booker Prize Winners That Will Cure Your Insomnia Guaranteed So Just Pretend You Know All The Details, You’ll Be Doing Yourself A Favour Bill
The 404 File Not Found Bill
The These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For Bill
The Look, Honestly The Treaty Principles Bill Was A Lot Worse Than This Bill
The In The time It Takes To Read This Bill You Could Pop Down To The Dairy And Treat Yourself To Some Tim Tams, Go On You Know You Want To Bill
The Wouldn't You Rather Netflix And Chill Bill
The Keep On Scrolling Bill
The Now Breathe In Deeply And Count Backwards From Ten, And Wakey Wakey, There You've Read The Whole Thing And There Was Nothing To Worry About Was There So Run Along Bill
The Please Read These Instructions Before Using Your New Small Kitchen Appliance Bill