Brown Disappointed His Idea For 68-km-long Ferry Rejected

Minister for Cars, Cars, Trucks and Cars Simeon Brown is welcoming Nicola Willis’s announcement of new ferries definitely maybe at some stage in the future, while expressing disappointment that his own proposal for a single 68km-long steel-and-concrete permanently-anchored vessel will not proceed.

Little is still known about the new Cook Strait ferries, except that they will absolutely cost less than the two cancelled I-Rex ferries in every respect, except possibly mathematically and factually.

Meanwhile, speaking to reporters via Apple Carplay as he drove though Auckland in a sports car with the cool wind in his hair and Rascal Flatts’ ‘Life Is A Highway’ cranked up to 11, Minister Brown said that he accepted that his own vision for travel across the strait was ‘ahead of its time’.

Details of the revolutionary ferry design are revealed in a leaked memo from the boyish zealot to his cabinet colleagues. The enthusiastic young thruster envisaged a ferry that runs from the coast of the South Island just east of Blenheim to the south coast of Wellington.

‘And when I say ‘runs’ I don’t mean it moves – that whole distance is all-ferry, all-the-way. That’s why it has 583 concrete pillars to hold it up’.