Eight Reasons The Presidential Inauguration Has Been Moved Inside

1 Now the new White House press secretary can honestly say this was the ‘largest audience ever to witness an indoor inauguration, period, both in person and around the globe’, and not have to put up with pesky facts like this:

2 On the advice of long-time Trump-whispering confidante and nutjob-in-chief Marjorie Taylor Greene, the concrete rotunda of the Capitol Building will shield the official inauguration participants from Jewish space lasers.

3 Presence of overhead roof will also deter random urge to look directly into the Sun should there be an unexpected solar eclipse.