Fast-Track Bill: Interview With Independent Expert Bish Chrisop

The government has announced that ministers Chris Bishop, Simeon Brown, and Shane Jones will no longer have the final sign-off on green-lighting fast-track infrastructure projects. Instead an independent panel of experts will have the final say.

We’re joined now by a member of that independent panel of experts. Welcome Mr Bish Chrisop.

Hello, please call me Bish. I love endangered snails. 

Sorry you look familiar, have we met before? 

Have we? I've met a lot of people in my role as an independent expert. You may be confused by this extravagant moustache.

So just to be clear, you are indeed an independent expert? You for example have no connection to Minister Chris Bishop, Mr Bish Chrisop?

Chris Bishop, you say? I can honestly say I've never met Chris Bishop. I've never talked to Chris Bishop. I've never emailed Chris Bishop. I've heard he's a good looking guy, still handy with a rugby ball and a good bloke to have a beer with. But hey what would I know, I'm just looking forward to making the final decision on fast track projects as a member of the independent panel of experts.

Well that's good to hear. And I take it you've never met the other two government ministers involved either, Simeon Brown and Shane Jones?

Oh look, Wellington is a small place, who's to say I haven't met Simeon Brown and Shane Jones at some government-related thing. But I'd much rather talk about the other two independent experts on the panel.

Yes, who are they exactly?

Brimeon Sown and Jane Shones.

They also sound familiar…

Well yes, Brimeon Sown and Jane Shones are held in high regard in their respective field of expertise.

What are their respective fields?

Being experts, mostly. And I can say to you with hand on heart that Brimeon Sown and Jane Shones place exactly the same value on looking after the environment as do I, Bish Chrisop.