Harris’s VP Pick Disturbingly Normal

An Explainer From The Satiriser’s International Desk

Vice-presidential nominee Tim Walz on a fairground ride, helpfully assisting caption-writers with their metaphors

Who is Kamala Harris’ s vice-presidential Pick Tim Walz?

Tim Walz is an American politician.

Is he the American politician who complained about ‘childless cat ladies who are miserable at their own lives and the choices they’ve made and so they want to make the rest of the country miserable too’ and now pledges allegiance to a man he once described as ‘cultural heroin’ and compared to Adolf Hitler?

No, that is another vice-presidential candidate, JD Vance.

Then is he the American politician who is a twice-impeached porn-star hush-money-paying sex offender, fraudster and insurrectionist and who once boasted of his ability to grab women by the pussy with impunity?

No, that is presidential candidate and aforementioned Adolf Hitler comparison Donald Trump.

Then is he the American politician who is descended from the most famous American political family of all, and who is most well-known for his anti-vax conspiracy theories, his revelation that a dead parasitic worm ate part of his brain, and his admission this week that he once secretly dumped a dead bear cub in Central Park as a prank?

No, that is presidential candidate Robert F Kennedy Jnr. And the whirring sound you can hear are scores of dead Kennedys (not the punk rock band) turning in their graves.