How To Stop Worrying About Your Kiwisaver

Fretting about the state of your Kiwisaver in the current global financial omnishambles? The correct response is apparently to:

1) Stay calm and/or

2) Consult your financial advisor

Unfortunately here at The Satiriser we are:

1) No longer allowed to prescribe Lorazepam

2) Currently appealing being struck off the Register Of Financial Advisers after that misunderstanding about how investing in snail farming was a sure thing.

And so we offer a third alternative: get distracted.

Yes, take a deep breath, ease your mind away from those wobbly retirement-savings figures – they’re all just numbers anyway! - and focus on something totally unrelated, with these whimsical amusements:

GROUP FOUR

Have fun finding groups of four words with a common theme hidden in the grid:

OPTICAL ILLUSION

The human brain is an amazing thing with the capacity to fool even itself. For example does this picture depict:

a) a serene waterfall?

or b) waves gently breaking on a tranquil shoreline?

MAGIC EYE

Unfocus your eyes and mind and stare into the picture. After some time you will see your Kiwisaver funds growing healthily again. If you still can’t see anything after four or five years of staring, blink and have another go.