How's That 'Say Yes More' Going?
A Satiriser Exclusive
An unfortunate example of when not to say ‘Yes’
Prime Minister!
Yes!
Is the nation getting behind you and your campaign to say yes more often?
Yes.
Would you like us to say yes more often still?
Yes.
To the extent, for example, of Meg Ryan in the diner scene in ‘When Harry Met Sally’ when she said, and I quote ‘Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes!’
Yes…
Yes?
Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes.
That’s sounding dangerously close to a mid-pitch mix-up leading to an unnecessary run-out and a disastrous mid-order batting collapse, so shall we start with some basics we can practise saying yes to?
Yes!
Freedom?
Yes.
Equality.
Yes.
Fairness and equity.
Yesssss…
Are you sure about that?
Well yes, unless you’re talking about some kind of redistribution that takes money out of the pockets of ordinary New Zealanders.
Are you suggesting that some things require more nuanced analysis than can possibly conveyed in a monosyllabic binary answer?
No.
Are you sure?
Yes.
Your current tally is Yes: 13 and No: 3. Would you like some more things to say yes to?
Yes!
Let’s continue then. Common sense.
Yes.
Hard-working Kiwi mums and dads.
Yes.
Choice.
Yes.
Reproductive choice.
What I can say to you is that whatever the personal views of myself and my caucus, we have no intention at this stage of amending the relevant legislation
That’s hardly a hearty yes is it?
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