‘I’m Just Misunderstood’ Says Lovable Cross-Burning Elon Musk

‘It’s crazy how I’m always being misinterpreted,’ Elon Musk reflected thoughtfully to an enthusiastic crowd tonight as he poured gasoline around a 20-metre high wooden cross and set fire to it on the front lawn of the White House.

‘It’s like everything I do, the mainstream media is always looking for some dark ulterior motive. Everyone warm enough?’ he added, to a roar of approval.

Mr Musk’s appearance at the White House comes hard on the heels of his weekend video star turn at a rally of the far-right German AfD Party (motto: ‘No we’re not Nazis – why do you ask?’).

The boyishly exuberant billionaire explained that while paying an evening visit to his good friend President Trump, he had noticed a crowd of ‘way hardcore’ supporters outside in the sub-freezing Washington temperatures. Seeing the supporters – ‘good people, some freed January 6^th hostages – the best!’ – he became concerned about them standing out in the cold.

Fortunately (and ironically) in the boot of his electric CyberTruck Mr Musk always carries a jerrycan of gasoline and some firewood, and he immediately set about creating a hearty, warming cross-shaped fire for the grateful and perfectly normal crowd to gather round.