LIVE From The 67th Annual Grammy, Er, Donny Awards

The Satiriser’s entertainment team is live on the red carpet in LA for the 67^th Annual Donny Awards – known until this morning as the Grammys before President Trump issued an executive order renaming them and stating the ‘Donnys’ were a ‘much better name for the very best in American entertainment.’

The President also noted that some previous Grammy awards were in his words ‘fake’ and ‘rigged’ and has made some changes to ensure that won’t happen again tonight.

We’ll be bringing you the results as they are announced in this live blog. Here we go…

BEST COUNTRY SOLO PERFORMANCE

Nominees:

It Takes A Woman by Chris Stapleton

A Bar Song (Tipsy) by Shaboozey

The Architect by Kacey Musgraves

I Am Not Okay by Jelly Roll

16 Carriages by Beyoncē

United States Of America 2017-2020 by Donald J Trump WINNER

The Donnys judges (who coincidentally were only appointed by President Trump this morning) say ‘the USA’s solo performance stood out above all others, clearly it was the very best country performance of all the countries’.

BEST METAL PERFORMANCE

Nominees

Cellar Door by Spiritbox

Screaming Suicide by Metallica

Suffocate by Knocked Loose feat. Poppy

Crown of Thorns by Judas Priest

Mea Culpa (Ah! Ça ira!) by Gojira, Marina Viotti, and Victor Le Masne

American Steel Industry 2017-2020 by Donald J Trump WINNER

A real shock there as many had thought the best days of the American steel industry were behind it, but the Donnys judges taking a contrarian view…

…Reports just in that Canadian artists Justin Bieber and Celine Dion have been refused entry to this year’s Donnys ceremony and had a 25% tariff slapped on them. In return US artists will be banned from this year’s Canadian National Music Awards. We’ll keep you updated on this breaking story….