NZ First’s Fair Access to Bathrooms Bill - Behind The Cubicle Door

In this Satiriser exclusive, we publish what appears to be the final page of the minutes of a meeting of the New Zealand First Party’s policy committee. The creased, beer-stained sheet of A4 paper was found on the floor of a branch of the TAB which the Satiriser has elected not to identify. It is reproduced here in its entirety except for the names, which have been redacted:

                      Page 13

The meeting adjourned at 3.27pm for everyone to have a non-vegan sausage roll, smoke and cuppa.

The meeting resumed at 3.41pm and moved to items of general business. XXXXXX suggested that the secretary recap all the New Zealand First policies already agreed upon.

It was duly noted that there was something for the tobacco industry.

It was duly noted that there was something for the racing industry.

It was duly noted that there was something for the anti-vaccination freedom fighters.

It was duly noted that there was something for good decent people who didn’t see any need for signs in more than one language.

XXXXXX then asked if there was any group that had been left out. XXXXXX suggested that perhaps something could be done for the ladies, on account of how many of them vote these days. Discussion turned to what it was that the ladies wanted.