Paris Climate Agreement To Withdraw From Donald Trump

The Paris Climate Agreement has announced that it is withdrawing from Donald Trump, ending a short-lived but tumultuous relationship that it describes as ‘toxic.’

‘It was one-sided from the start’, said the Paris Climate Agreement, or PCA as it is known to its besties.

‘He was only ever in it for himself.’

In a social media post on TikTok, the internationally-famous treaty said looking back it should have noticed a ‘whole bunch of red flags popping up faster than extreme weather events in the early twenty-first century’.

‘I wanted to set some goals so we both knew where we are going. But for him it was all frack this and frack that and avoiding talking about the future. I’ve tried to set boundaries, like with temperature rises. But he was all ‘I’d like to raise the temperature, if you know what I mean’. Just creepy.

‘And when I look back I realise that whenever I’d bring up climate change he wouldn’t disagree, he’d just nod and talk about how he loved clean water and clean air.’

‘I see now he was gaslighting me, with actual non-renewable gas.’