Peters Issues List Of Who He Has Ruled Out Working With

Hard on the heels of ruling out working with Labour’s Chris Hipkins, New Zealand First leader Winston Peters has issued a non-exhaustive list of other people he has also ruled out working with ‘now and in the future, so do your job and write that down and print it, bozo’.

Speaking from the Deputy Prime Minister’s official office, in between trying to remember which painting he had hidden that last bottle of Johnny Walker behind and setting mouse traps in the drawers of the official deputy Prime Minister’s desk in contemplation of David Seymour moving in over the weekend, Mr Peters schooled reporters on who was on his current burn list and blocked from his LinkedIn account.

People who will now be unable to look forward to the prospect of working with Mr Peters include (with Mr Peters’ reasons given) :

David Attenborough – ‘He was fine when he was rolling around with gorillas but he jumped the shark when he started banging on about climate change wokery. Too bad he isn’t eligible for the SuperGold card I introduced, so he could spend the rest of his days cruising back-and-forth for free on the Waiheke Island ferry’.