Peters On Ferry Details: Will Be Made Of Steel, Travel On Water

ANNOUNCEMENT OF REPLACEMENT FERRIES BY RT HON WINSTON PETERS

Alright you media numbskulls, stop interviewing each other and pay attention to me.

Now look here. Fifteen months ago this government scrapped the iRex ferry project. And four months ago the Finance Minister passed the baton to me, to finalise the details of the ferries that will replace that colossal pie-in-the-sky waste of taxpayer money that was the previous government’s folly. What a total waste of time that was.

What? Who said that? Look there’ll be time for questions at the end and not before. And for the record, by ‘total waste of time’ I meant the iRex project, not the fifteen months since, are we clear? No-one likes a smart-arse, bozo.

Now I said I would make an announcement about the new ferries by the end of March, well today is the end of March, and I am a man of my word. So listen up and take these vital details down.

The new ferries will travel on water, specifically the Marlborough Sounds, Cook Strait and Wellington harbour.

The new ferries will be about yay long and yay wide. They will be not too big and not too small.

Are you getting this, you clowns?

Importantly, the new ferries will be manoeuvrable. We need ferries that can travel not just in a straight line but turn left and sometimes turn right. These new ferries will do that.