Seymour Encourages Mayors To Provide Elective Surgery

Hi local mayors! It’s me, David Seymour, the hardest-twerking MP in the house. Ha! See what I did there!

As you know, earlier this week I wrote to you about my plan to encourage you and your councils to combat truancy in our schools. And what a great reception I had from the silent majority of all of you, apart from the usual handful of loud mouth-breathing whiners.

After all, it makes sense. Kiddies playing hooky from school happens at a grassroots level, not within the Wellington beltway. And if local kiddies are the problem, so local leaders should be part of the solution. You guys have got this! And gals!

With that in mind, here is today’s bright idea. Local mayors, it’s time for you to get involved in providing elective surgery.

Dodgy hips, painful hernias: these happen to local people, so it just makes sense for central government to get out of the way and let local leaders who know what’s best for their community roll up their sleeves, put on their rubber gloves (metaphorically) and get stuck in.