Seymour Named As Ambassador For Unawareness Awareness Week

ACT Party Leader David Seymour has been named as ambassador for Unawareness Awareness Week.

A spokesperson for Unawareness Awareness Week told reporters that Seymour would be the public face of the campaign, run by the Unawareness Syndrome Society under the slogan “It’s All About USS!’

Unawareness Syndrome is a little-understood condition whose sufferers have little understanding and give even less of a shit about those who have different world-views or experiences.  The condition is exacerbated by a total lack of empathy or curiosity about others.

Early-onset Unawareness Syndrome is often detected in the captains of prestigious single-sex school debating teams who have a few things they’d like to say about abortion, and at ACT Youth functions where attendees will let you know between tequila shots how the poor wouldn’t need handouts if they learnt the basics of cooking with vegetables grown in their own back garden.

The Unawareness Syndrome Society said Seymour had been on its ambassadorial shortlist for some time, but clinched the position when he emerged from Parliament to watch Tuesday’s hikoi.

‘The way he stood there gawping incredulously at tens of thousands of people, like a small goldfish peering out from his bowl, that was the decider for us’, the USS spokesperson said.