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This Week On Luxie’s Repair Shop

This Week On Luxie’s Repair Shop

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Andrew Gunn - The Satiriser
Aug 19, 2024
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The Satiriser
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This Week On Luxie’s Repair Shop
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Recently Mr and Mrs Voter brought along something very special for Chris and his team to work on. Now it’s time to find out what they’ve done with it.

LUXIE: Welcome back to Luxie’s Repair Shop, Mr and Mrs Voter. So you entrusted us with this here, your very treasured New Zealand.

MRS VOTER: Or Aotearoa. Sometimes we call it that.

LUXIE: Nah, I think you’ll find it’s basically your classic straightforward New Zealand. So just remind us why you brought it here to Luxie’s Repair Shop.

MR VOTER: Well, it had been through a tough few years, it was looking a bit tired.

LUXIE: That’s an understatement! It was looking like an arsonist got hold of it!

MRS VOTER: We thought we’d give you a chance to see what you could do with it.

LUXIE: Just in time! And we’ve been laser-focused on that deliverable! Now what I can tell you before I show you what we’ve done, is that we really took this New Zealand apart bolt by bolt. The thing right in the middle –

MR VOTER: The Treaty of Waitangi?

LUXIE: That’s it. Now David here, he’s the expert. He removed it, took it apart, simplified the workings and put it back in. And now it’s better than new.

MRS VOTER: But we didn’t ask you to do that.

LUXIE: I didn’t do it. David did.

MRS VOTER: He didn’t have to.

LUXIE: He insisted. Now there will be a bit of noise to start with, caused by friction, but it just needs running in. And while David was fixing that, Winston got in and installed a new wind-up mechanism. He’s the master of wind-up, Winston. And also some buttons to push, and a little itch-scratcher.

MRS VOTER: What? Why?

LUXIE: Now tell me, did this New Zealand originally smoke?

MR VOTER: It used to, but not so much now. I think something had blocked off any more smoke coming through.

LUXIE: All fixed! Casey Costello worked her magic on it. It’ll be smoking away for generations to come.

MRS VOTER: But you didn’t tell us you’d do that.

LUXIE: Don’t worry, we won’t charge you extra. Hah! Actually there is a charge we hadn’t anticipated, and that comes under ‘Cancelling Cook Strait Ferries’.

MR VOTER: Wait, it’s still got the Cook Strait ferries, hasn’t it?

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