Trump To Musk: I Am Your Father

Effective immediately, Donald Trump has appointed Elon Musk as his vice-presidential running-mate and Number One Favourite Son.

The double-appointment occurred at Trump’s ‘Assassination/ Resurrection’ rally in Pennsylvania, Trump channeling that time when George Michael, at a packed arena concert, got half-way through ‘Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me’ before announcing ‘Ladies and gentlemen, Mr Elton John!’

Having bounded up the steps, Musk then proceeded to dance a jig of joy like a seven-year-old boy who for once didn’t get picked last for the lunchtime football game, before prostrating himself before Trump and offering to kiss his ring.

The former president demurred, saying there would be a queue of woman lined up right round the block, the biggest queue you ever saw, if he ever wanted that kind of thing, but he was a happily married man, bigly.

Trump then laid his light-sabre above each shoulder of the kneeling Musk, saying ‘Together we will rule the galaxy. You and me, but mainly me.’

Commentators have observed that Trump’s move to sideline current running-mate JD Vance as well as current biological favourite son Donald Trump Junior should come as no surprise.