World Leaders Vow To Uphold Some Bits Of Pope’s Legacy

World leaders returning from the funeral of His Holiness Pope Francis have pledged that his vision of humility and compassion to all will never be forgotten, within reason.

A feature of Pope Francis’s time as Pontiff was his special concern for the poor, migrants and victims of torture around the globe, something that world leaders would carry forward in their thoughts and actions, a world-leaders spokesperson said, adding ‘as far as practically possible, of course’.

‘Pope Francis’s consistent speaking out on behalf of the most impoverished is a clarion call that cannot be silenced. We must all put lifting the most vulnerable amongst us out of poverty at the forefront of our efforts, within of course the usual real-world fiscal parameters and prudent budgetary management restraints.’

‘To that last point let’s not forget that no less a religious heavyweight than Jesus Himself said the poor will always be with us, which pretty well makes elimination of poverty altogether a no-go area, if not actual blasphemy. So obviously we won’t be going overboard.’